My girlfriend was out with the girls the other night – or at least that was what she told me. She virtually fell in the door at 2am, blind drunk and wearing some pink stockings I had never seen before. As any sensible guy would, I asked her where she got these stockings from and for some strange reason she got angry when I said that she had been fucking someone else. So she stripped off, down to her pink lingerie and started slapping, punching and flicking my cock around. It was bloody painful, but it was also strangely horny – but don’t tell HER that.